The U.S. Army had found itself suffering from being overstaffed with soldiers. So, they came up with an idea. Any soldier who willingly resigned would get an early retirement bonus of $1,000 of every inch measured between two points on their body.
The first soldier stepped up and said, "I'd like you to measure from my head to my toes." He walked away with $66,000.
The second soldier stepped forward and said, "I'd like you to measure from the tip of my outstretched arms, to my toes." He walked away with $78,000.
Finally, an old vet stepped forward and said, "I'd like you to measure from the tip of my member to my b*lls" and the men in charge looked at each other with smirks on their faces.
"Sir, your contribution to the U.S army has been invaluable, and without peer. And we understand you're probably extremely proud of your member. But men are walking away with Thousands of Dollars. Would you please reconsider this choice?"
The old man shook his head and dropped his trousers. As the man started unrolling is measuring tape, he held one end to the tip of the man's member and started moving backwards, before letting out a yell of shock.
"Good God Man!!!! Where are your testicles?"
"The old man pulls up his pants with a smirk,
".........In Vietnam."
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