Drug Store Worker Is Shocked When He Hears This Horrifying Reply From A Nun

Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes when one said, "It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them."

The second nun said, "I've found a marvelous invention called the condom, which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it later!"

The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could get some of these condoms. The second nun said, "You get them at the drug store, Sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them." The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter.

"Good morning sister," said the pharmacist.

"What can I do for you today?"

"I'd like some condoms please" said the nun. The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, "How many boxes would you like--there are 12 to a box." "I'll take six boxes, that should last about a week" said the nun.

The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, "Sister, what size condoms would you like-we have large, extra large, and big liar size."

The sister thought for a minute, and finally said:

"I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a camel?

HE FAINTED.

The Horse That Only Responds To Certain Words, HAHAHAHA

Jack strode into "John's Sable" looking to buy a horse. "Listen here," said John, "Iv'e got just the horse your looking for, the only things is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn't go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey, the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God.

Jim nodded his head, "Fine with me, can I take him for a test run?"

Jim was having the time of his life, "This horse sure can run," he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead, "STOP!" screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get him to stop. "Yoyo" screamed Jim, but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet away from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered "heyhey!" Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just one inch from the cliff.

Jim could not believe hisw good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raised his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction "Thank God."

Man Does Something At A Pool Party That Blows Everyone Away. Then Says This

A filthy rich Florida man invites all of his friends and neighbors to a party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. He also invites Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating BBQ and flirting with all the women.

There was a 10 foot long alligator in the pool and after a few hours of partying the host announced, "I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in the pool." The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and Leroy was in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and the water was churning and splashing everywhere. Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, punching it and attempting to strangle it. He finally succeeded and left it floating in the water as he slowly climbed out of the pool. The onlookers were staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well Leroy, I guess I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay. I don't wan't it," says Leroy.

The rich man says, "I have to give you something, you won the bet. How about half a million bucks?"

Leroy says, "No thanks, I don't wan't it."

The host says, "I insist on giving you something. How about a new Porsche, a Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Leroy declines.

Confused, the man asks him, "Well, Leroy, then what do you wan't?"

Leroy says, "What I want is the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool!"

Women Relieves Herself At The Dinner Table But What Comes Next Is Priceless

A women goes to her boyfriends parent's house for Christmas dinner.

this is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit  down and begin eating a fine meal.

the women is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the women's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!"

The women thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the women smiled and thought, "Yes!" A few minutes later the women had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she craps on you!"




From Postsforall.com

This Officer Just Underestimated this Woman's Intelligence. Her Response To Him Is Perfect.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the women and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the women.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. for all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

This Guy Applied For A Government Job. But Then They Told Him This.

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. the interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes" he says, " I was in Iraq for 2 years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you an extra 5 points towards employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. you are a disabled Veteran; you've got enough points for me to hire you right now.

Our normal hours from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, plan on starting at 10:00 am everyday."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don't you wan't me hear until 10:00 am?

"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first 2 hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.

This Is How Genius Women Deal With A Lawyer

Lawyer won't leave this women alone on her flight. What she does next is genius.

A women and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asked if she would like to play a fun game.

The women, tired, just wanted to take a nap, politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explained, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer , now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the women's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from earth to the moon?"

The women doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer ans searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the women, and hands her $500.00.

The women says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little muffed, wakes the women and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the women reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.


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