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Thursday, June 4, 2015

The women decided to test her husband's love by writing this breakup letter. This is genius


The other day, a women wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing, put the letter on the table in the bedroom before hiding under the bed...

When her husband came back home, he saw the letter and read it, then he also wrote something on it and began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialed someone then said: "Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her and has left. I was really wrong to have married her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon honey!" Then her husband walked out of the room...

In tears and very upset, she got up from under the bed and decided to go and read what her husband wrote on the latter. When she got the letter it said: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going to buy bread."

This is Perfect



According to a news report, a certain private school in Chicago, IL was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12th grade girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators.


This is touching






























Two men , both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.



One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods of where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.
Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not here the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentlemen by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn out to the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his decreased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite your own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Today is a gift, that is why it is called "The Present"

Wednesday, June 3, 2015



Customer asks this waitress a simple question in front of his family. Her reply blows everyone away.

(I am in a recently opened restaurant. I overhear this conversation at the table next to me. At the table is a large family.)

Customer: "Has there ever been another restaurant in this building? The place looks so familiar."

Waitress: "I do not know. The building has been vacant for many years."

Customer: "I remember the stained glass windows and the spiral stairs. I am sure I have been here before."

(Just then, another waiter passes the table.)

Waitress: "Do you know if there has ever been another restaurant in this place?"

Waiter: "No. Until they went out of business a few years ago this place was a brothel."

(There is an awkward silence at the table.)




From: postsforall.com

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

This one is touching




One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he only had one dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young women opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so she brought him a large glass of milk.

He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said, "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left the house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year's later that young women became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.

She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

"Paid in full with one glass of milk.

Signed, Dr. Howard Kelly."

Have A Laugh



A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams, a brand new Ferrari GTO.
After paying  $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, a frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the Ferrari and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, Sonny?

The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"Wow... that's a lot of money," says the old man as he tucks his thumbs up against his suspenders. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 198 miles per hour!" states the banker proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the proud new owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around at all the bells and whistles lining the dashboard. Sitting back on his moped, the old man whistles and says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right.... but i'll stick with my moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the banker decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, he notices a yellow dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting! He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly...Whooooosh! Something blows by him, going much faster!

"What in the hell could be going faster than my Ferrari? the young mas asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 160 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 175 mph. Whoooosh!

He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again! Dumbfounded, the banker floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 198 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again!

The Ferrari red lines and there's nothing more he can do! Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the magled old man and says, "Oh my God!" Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man whispers with his dying breath..."Unhook...my...suspenders.... from....your.... side view mirror."


From: postsforall.com


Monday, June 1, 2015

This one is great!




Man tries to bribe the minister at his own wedding. What his bride does next is genius.

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm suppose to promise to "love, honor and obey" and be faithful to her forever; I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:


"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not even even look at another women, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 dollar bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."






From: postsforall.com